As we headed out the door, with our raincoats on and no diaper bag or stroller – Ivan grabbed my hand and said ‘when was the last time we did this?’ And I couldn’t even remember.
Our lovely friend Lani had offered randomly to watch Mika for a few hours in case we had something that we wanted to do. We jumped at the amazingly kind offer and decided to run a couple little errands and then just sit in one of our favourite tea shops and play scrabble.
The problem with paying a nanny to watch Mika on the weekends is that it puts a ton of pressure on us to do something really freaking amazing in those hours. If we’re paying anywhere from $10-$20 an hour, we want to make sure that we are 100% enjoying our time. So…running errands and sitting in a coffee shop doesn’t feel like a justified way to spend upwards of $30, but when family or friends are happy to spend a couple hours playing with Mika, then somehow we feel much more relaxed and can easily just spend that time walking around the block together holding hands and talking.
We tried to show our gratitude by making Lani dinner (a new vegetable green curry dish I’d been wanting to try) and hopefully it did the trick.
The weekend was wet. I did a very wet 17km run on Saturday and we spent the day at an awesome indoor playground/cafe. Today we cleaned in the morning, strolled to the farmer’s market and enjoyed a relatively warm and dry day. This afternoon we hosted an awesome potluck and now I’m about to sleep in anticipation of a 5:10am wakeup for an early morning track session. Yeah, I’m nervous.
It was a pretty photo-less weekend too.
I arrived back from NY last night and this morning I noticed that the trees outside our house have lost their leaves. It’s very very cold and so I’m happy that I have Ivan to cuddle and foot duvets for my feet. (Not slippers – foot duvets. That’s right.)
10 things that New York City reminded me:
- Yoga cures all. Even straight from a 6 hour red-eye flight landing at 545am.
- Skype makes it feel like no time has passed, but nothing beats sitting face to face with a best friend.
- Running is my favourite way to explore a new city.
- Taking pictures with my iphone instead of my dslr makes me feel way less like a tourist.
- The more I talk, the less pictures I take.
- NYC has some great vegan friendly places to eat (like here, here and here).
- ‘In an artificial world, only extremists live naturally’ -Paul Graham
- My baby girl seems so much older via skype.
- Old friends feel like home.
- Everything will be OK.
What I thought was a nice photo…totally ruined by the half naked man.
My plane leaves in 6 hours. I’ll arrive in New York City at 5:45am local time and I’ll be spending the next 3 days with a favourite person. Despite this being the first time I’ve been away from Mika and Ivan at the same time, and the fact that I won’t actually be going to sleep (unless I luck out on the plane) until probably late Friday night, I’m feeling pretty chill about the whole thing. Ivan keeps asking me if I’m excited and OF COURSE I’M EXCITED but it’s still weird.
Some links to things I’ve been lovin lately:
A great article about women (and men) and family/work balance
A free movie (until Nov 6) about GMO. I’d never paid enough attention to this, but now I can’t believe I haven’t.
A 7 year old’s guide to living life. Amazing.
Ivan’s shirts came in the mail the other day and we are in love. They’re perfect. Now I want that sweater….
I think this would be awesome on our fridge.
Some pictures of late (namely, the glorious long wonderful fall weather):
waiting for freshly baked goods
And this is me attempting to update my very sparse wardrobe. On my ‘day off’ on Saturday, Ivan’s phone inbox was filled with these pictures (this one?! how bout this one?! whattdya think of this?!) . Probably the most tiring day of my life…give me child-minding over serious shopping any day. But how awesome is that green jacket?! (and yeah, we had a good laugh at my ‘self photo’ poses).
I was in the shower. I’d just come back from my long Saturday morning run and the house was empty. Ivan and Mika were at the children’s museum with some friends and I was granted almost an entire day to myself.
So I’m enjoying the hot water running down my back and I’m suddenly aware of very peculiar feeling. I’m not sure how long I’ve been feeling like this, but this would be the first time I’ve actually acknowledged it: I no longer feel like Mika and I are one person. Obviously I don’t mean that literally, but until recently I’ve really had a hard time seeing myself as a person who’s allowed to have interests in things other than diapers and nursery rhymes. Obviously I have had an interest in other things, but it never felt quite right. Almost as though I was doing Mika an injustice by being more than just her mama.
But now it’s different. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment it changed, but since Saturday I’ve become even more aware of it. I don’t feel like a stay-at-home mama. I don’t feel like a different person. I just feel like me and I now have this usually grubby but bright eyed little side-kick everywhere I go. Sometimes I find myself looking at her and watching her say things and do things and I think about how just as I am feeling more and more me, she is becoming more and more her.
This post hardly does justice to how this feels, but I wanted to get it out and remember it. 18 months. And I feel more me than I’ve felt in a long time.