the weather has been gloriously unpredictable (and also i don’t mind talking about the weather because it plays such a huge factor in my mood and my feelings that it is most definitely worth mentioning, so there). i love running in the early AM when the clouds are grey and it feels like rain is on the way and then i get home and shower and eat and look outside again and the sun is shining through. or sometimes it isn’t, but at least it keeps me on my toes.
we bought some eggs last week and had a pretty egg-heavy week. i don’t think we’d ever eat eggs regularly again, but if i was to eat something that i’m not 100% happy about consuming, it would be either eggs, croissants or fish. i like to think that i have enough self-control to eat any of those things as a glorious treat sometimes. a little while ago i stopped drinking coffee, just to know that i can and also because i was feeling a tad anxious and i thought maybe the caffeine buzz wasn’t helping. i suppose it was good to stop, but i am still not ready or interested in giving up coffee for good, so i’m back to drinking it. oh yes.
my plants are thriving (and some are dying) and they still make me extremely happy but our recent heating bill was $400+ for the month so i think i may have to rethink my set-up.
ivan has been working crazy long and hard hours and we don’t see him very much. he’s doing cool work though and still manages to be here on a saturday morning so i can get to one of my favourite yoga classes.
and possibly the most exciting thing right now is that there is only one month left til mika is TWO YEARS OLD. like woah.
spending the morning with the sweetest of little friends.
so here we are. 2 months away from your second birthday and it’s gone too fast. i want to remember these moments so badly. you are the sweetest little girl with the sweetest little kisses and the sweetest little voice. part of me can’t stand the thought of you getting older but then part of me is so excited to see the gorgeous person you are growing to be.
the other day i was sitting with you on the floor and trying to teach you how to jump and you were so close to getting it and it suddenly hit me how crazy it is that this is the same girl who not so long ago (in the scheme of things) lay in my arms, unable to hold her own head up. i watched you cheer and clap for yourself every time you tried to jump and i thanked the universe for bringing such a sweet girl into my life.
the other day i was holding you as you drank your bottle after nap-time and you were looking into my eyes like you used to when you nursed. you reached up and gently brushed some hair out of my eyes with your little hand and then you pulled the bottle out of your mouth, leaned up and gave me the sweetest kiss on the mouth then went right back to drinking. i never want to forget that moment.
you say all the things except most people don’t understand you. i understand you most of the time but sometimes when I don’t, you look at me really hard in the eye and repeat what you said in such a way as to say ‘mama, come on’ and i smile and say ‘ah!’ and pretend that I understand but you always seem to know when i don’t.
you love singing and you sing all the time even though you don’t know the words. you have a pretty good tune considering your parents are musically disabled and it is possibly the most joyful thing ever to wake up to you singing ‘twinkle twinkle’ or to watch you singing to your dolls.
you are so determined and so every day is pretty crazy. sometimes we’re winning and sometimes we’re struggling and sometimes it can take us at least an hour to get dressed for music class or sometimes we hurt the ears of everyone in the supermarket while you provide the screaming theme song of me rushing to pick up some groceries with a crazy toddler. i feel like it kinda sucks sometimes, i’m not gonna lie, but then you grab my face and kiss me fiercly and i realise that this doesn’t suck. it’s the most gloriously rewarding thing i’ve ever done, even if the rewarding part only shows itself in brief 1 hour intervals throughout the day.
gah! sigh. i love you so much it hurts.
i decided to write a list of things that make me feel strong/healthy and a list of things that make me feel not-so-strong. i read somewhere that doing this is a good exercise when you are feeling less than ideal. i don’t feel ideal right now and so i needed to do this.
on the strong side were things like:
- eating oats for breakfast
- having a clean house
- reading books
- talking to certain people
- having good sleeps
- cooking every night
- drinking lots of water
on the not-so-strong side were things like (other than just the opposite of everything above)
- having dirty floors (ha!)
- drinking too much coffee
- eating sweet foods (mighty-o donuts!)
- drinking too much alcohol
it’s so obvious that to feel good i need to do the things that make me feel good, but it just never seems to be that easy huh? anyway… here’s some pictures.
on our walk to trader joe’s
the little artist (no pants is the only way)
getting in the house is a mission when this little girl insists on unlocking the door herself
so i’ll let myself in and she can keep at it
kinda looks gorgeous even
casual stair nap
‘book?’ only a million times each day
on my run
my new obsession: brown rice bowl with roasted veggies (broccoli, mushroom & carrot), lightly cooked tofu with miso garlic dressing. damn tasty!
In other news, I started doing this which is kinda fun.