this morning was one of those mornings that i will always remember. i will remember the smells, the sounds, the feelings, the thoughts, the people. it was also one of those mornings that reminded me of so many other mornings that have made me feel like this.
waking up at 7am has become a big deal (yup…i’m leading that kind of lifestyle right now). and so consequently 7am has a very special kind of a feel to it. this morning in particular the air felt cold and clean. ivan brought me yoghurt with some granola and i ate it sitting up in bed, cuddled under my duvet. so many memories and feelings are attached with waking up, grabbing my breakfast and then rushing back to eat it in the warmth of my bed. (typically I don’t think Canadian houses are like this.. it just so happens that we live in a very old building that hasn’t realised winter is setting in and hence no-one has turned on the central heating yet).
we rented a zipcar for the morning and we sat in a bit of rush hour traffic with the radio playing mumford & sons (winter winds) and i could barely speak. my brain was remembering a million memories at once, i was feeling a million things at once and i was anxious/excited for the next 2 hours. it’s not often that we drive around vancouver – we are usually walking, biking or catching the bus. driving over bridges and seeing the city from a different angle makes it feel like quite a different place. it reminds me a lot of auckland, but the mountains are just so majestic and magical standing proudly behind the skyline… it’s indescribable.
my bladder was full and the ultrasound people made us wait for a good 10 minutes before heading in. i’m sure i don’t need to describe the uncomfortableness of a full bladder. my pretty-ultrasound-lady finally led me to our little room with her big machine and the anonymous bed covered in paper towels. i lay down and she poured a little goop then spent an entire hour pushing around my belly.
the whole thing was almost done in silence apart from a few comments from her here and there:
“are you positive of your dates?”
my brain: ‘oh god… why did she ask me that?! is something wrong?! maybe my baby is a midget! will i still love it if it’s a midget?? of course i will. oh, midget baby, I love you. maybe if I think really hard about tall things, i can help my baby grow! skyscrapers, giants, big people, giraffes… are you seeing this baby??‘
finally i decided it was worth asking. “is everything OK?”
“oh yeah, fine – i just always ask if people are sure of their dates.”
it turns out the wee thing was actually still quite small as i’m only officially 18 weeks and 3 days along in my pregnancy and normally they like to do these scans at 20 weeks because the baby is just that much bigger. for most of the time the baby was curled up in a little ball and she was having a hard time getting some good images. But then after an hour or so, she let me get up, walk around and go toilet – when i came back, there was another lady (clearly a more important one because she wasn’t wearing a lab coat) and they asked if they could take another look.
by now they had let ivan into the room who was quite humorously called in from the waiting room as ‘Mister Minett?’
i reminded the ladies that i had just emptied my bladder… they didn’t seem too fussed (so why the full bladder in the first place eh?!) and once they had re-gooped me, it turned out the baby had moved and was in a much nicer place for viewing.
they’re not actually allowed to make any comments on how things look (that’s for my doctor to do), but to my eye, everything looked wonderful.
it’s hard to describe how it feels when you see your baby yawn the first time, but that’s what we saw – and i can not stop thinking about it.
here are some of the (kinda ambiguous) pictures that we got to keep: