Feb
08

22 Months

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mika,

so here we are. 2 months away from your second birthday and it’s gone too fast. i want to remember these moments so badly. you are the sweetest little girl with the sweetest little kisses and the sweetest little voice. part of me can’t stand the thought of you getting older but then part of me is so excited to see the gorgeous person you are growing to be.

the other day i was sitting with you on the floor and trying to teach you how to jump and you were so close to getting it and it suddenly hit me how crazy it is that this is the same girl who not so long ago (in the scheme of things) lay in my arms, unable to hold her own head up. i watched you cheer and clap for yourself every time you tried to jump and i thanked the universe for bringing such a sweet girl into my life.

the other day i was holding you as you drank your bottle after nap-time and you were looking into my eyes like you used to when you nursed. you reached up and gently brushed some hair out of my eyes with your little hand and then you pulled the bottle out of your mouth, leaned up and gave me the sweetest kiss on the mouth then went right back to drinking. i never want to forget that moment.

you say all the things except most people don’t understand you. i understand you most of the time but sometimes when I don’t, you look at me really hard in the eye and repeat what you said in such a way as to say ‘mama, come on’ and i smile and say ‘ah!’ and pretend that I understand but you always seem to know when i don’t.

you love singing and you sing all the time even though you don’t know the words. you have a pretty good tune considering your parents are musically disabled and it is possibly the most joyful thing ever to wake up to you singing ‘twinkle twinkle’ or to watch you singing to your dolls.

you are so determined and so every day is pretty crazy. sometimes we’re winning and sometimes we’re struggling and sometimes it can take us at least an hour to get dressed for music class or sometimes we hurt the ears of everyone in the supermarket while you provide the screaming theme song of me rushing to pick up some groceries with a crazy toddler. i feel like it kinda sucks sometimes, i’m not gonna lie, but then you grab my face and kiss me fiercly and i realise that this doesn’t suck. it’s the most gloriously rewarding thing i’ve ever done, even if the rewarding part only shows itself in brief 1 hour intervals throughout the day.

gah! sigh. i love you so much it hurts.

love mama.