Mar
09

on leaving the pregnancy club

Written by | 4 comments »

Happy thursday!!

I slept a little better last night – albeit dreams of invasions (they weren’t zombies… but it was like a civil invasion of evil people vs good people) and a seriously epic battle. So epic that I  really wish I could share it with you without boring you to sleep. Don’t you hate how dreams are like that? No-one really likes hearing about other people’s dreams. Really.

So today is the 10th of March and it is the official 1st day of ‘we think baby could be born on this day’.  Ivan guessed the 10th, as did Paloma, Carrie and Anne G.  I am seeing my midwife this afternoon so I will do an update on the situation shortly.

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In the meantime, I have been pondering this whole ‘entering the mum club’ thing.  It’s quite funny.  Upon first learning that I was pregnant, I really didn’t feel like I belonged.  Shopping for my prenatal vitamins when I was just 7 weeks pregnant left me feeling so inadequate. Even between 12 and 24 weeks, I never quite felt as though I was pregnant enough to belong to the pregnancy club.  Gazing adoringly at other women’s growing bumps, I felt like an impostor if I mentioned that I was also pregnant.  It was only recently as baby decided to form more of a bump that I have felt confident in discussing my pregnancy with other pregnant women.

And I am noticing the same thing with becoming a mum.  Technically I already am a mum.  I have this wee thing inside me and I am caring for it as best I can.  But watching mums with their newborn babies makes it clear that I have so much to learn and I’m really not a member of the mum club yet at all.  Members of the pregnancy club watch members of the mum club with absolute respect and adoration. Everything looks so terrifying and they seem to handle it all with such ease – they are truly the pinnacle of our endeavours through 9 months of pregnancy.

I’m so close to joining the mum club, I feel like there should be some kind of ceremony.  Perhaps that is what labour’s all about. But no! What about dancing and music and speeches and feasting and then having baby handed to me in celebratory robes and blankets and trinkets?

Will I miss the pregnancy club?  Nah.

I loved being pregnant – between 6 months of nausea and vomiting and 3 weeks of uncomfortable sleep and aches and pains and no longer being allowed to practice yoga – there were certainly moments of absolute bliss.  Every little kick reminding me that I am not alone.  Tuning in with the little body developing within me.  Our secret little messages that we can pass between each other without anyone else knowing.  How can you possibly describe what it feels like to give life?  To grow another human being inside you?  It’s so surreal.

Did you know that the spanish translation for ‘to give birth‘ is ‘dar luz‘ which literally means ‘to give light‘.  Isn’t that beautiful? It must explain why pregnant women glow – we are giving light to another soul.

I am looking forward to no longer being pregnant for many reasons.  The main one is because we will have our little baby in our arms instead of hiding in my belly.  But I also am excited for the following list of things I will do:

  • ride a bike!
  • go for a run
  • go to bikram yoga
  • sit up without having to roll over first
  • do a handstand (how have i gone for so long?!)
  • bounce on a trampoline
  • eat raw fish sushi
  • feast on some cold marinated mussels
  • eat a ham sandwich (gross I know… it’s something about being ‘not allowed’ to do something)
  • shave my legs properly
  • stop taking iron supplements

Like I said – being pregnant feels amazing.  And I know the mum club lasts a lot longer than the pregnancy club so i suppose I’m a little sad to say goodbye to it – but I’ll be back!!  Within 3 years I’ll be back :)

  • Aurelie

    I love your blog so much.

    Oh, how exciting. I really can’t wait to be all “congratulations” etc and see the beautiful photos of baby. OMG to think the last time I saw you was just under a year ago at the yMedia Awards dinner…
    Wow.

    Also – Raw fish sushi! Yay!!!

  • Rachel

    You and your Ivan will do spectacular when you enter the Parent Club… Mommy Club for all the special hugs and kises, whispered talks under the covers, and Daddy club for the “Lets not tell mom” treats, special secrets, and being the best friend ever.

    I remember when I had Daphne and how scared I really was, and you know, 9 1/2 yrs later, I was just about as scared with Mira. Its amazing how these ‘wee little beings’ can cause us stress, panic, worry, elation, love and patience.

    Enjoy your wee baby, as they dont stay babies for long…. >sigh< they turn into toddlers, tweens, and then teens. Look out for the even number years. LOL

  • Teresa

    Lol @ feeling like an imposter! Me too! Thank u for sharing, it makes me feel less afraid! <3 Always waiting for the next update. And you look so beautiful, by the way.

  • Natasha

    Come on baby!!!!