Apr
26

the post that should not have been written. but has.

Written by | 11 comments »

(You have been warned).

//

Ivan and I have a little sleep system that tries to maximise sleep time for both of us. I feed the bug at about 8pm and then I scoot downstairs and try to sleep while Ivan stays upstairs with the bug and tries to keep her asleep until midnight. At midnight he brings her down and wakes me to take ‘the night shift’. On a brilliant night, she will feed and burp and change and I’ll put her down again at 1am and won’t hear from her again until 5 or 6am (once it was 7am!). On an average night she will go down again at 1am and then wake every 2 hours. On an awful night she will wake every 45 minutes or so.

The annoying thing for me is that it takes me SO LONG to get to sleep at 8pm that usually I’ve only managed to steal about an hour or less by the time I’m woken at midnight. I lie in bed, listening to everything and anything that will stop me from sleeping.

And often, in my extremely sleep deprived state, with burning eyes and pounding headache – I come up with some pretty weird thoughts that sound so prolific to me, that I want to run upstairs and tell Ivan immediately. I do however, talk myself into staying in bed and soon drift into my short stay in sleepland.

In the morning, my prolific thoughts are never quite as prolific. My funny thoughts are never quite as funny. And my ideas aren’t so multi-million dollar after all. But on this one occasion, I had a fun thought that got a little crazy and I did end up telling Ivan all about it and here it is:

The Friendship Hand.

I remember reading somewhere that you should only ever really have ‘a handful’ of really good friends. I’m talking really really good. The kinds of friends who you can sit in silence with and ‘have fun’. The kinds of friends who can finish your sentences and read your mind (really). The kinds of friends who you would fly half way around the world for to be at their wedding. The kinds of friends who are there for the best moments and also who have seen you at your worst and still loved you. The kinds of friends who you really laugh with.

So taking this ‘handful’ term a bit further, I began exploring my different friendships and tried to place different friends as different phalanges on my right hand. This is harder than it sounds. A ‘thumb’ friend, for example, is what makes us human and separates us from apes. Without the thumb friend we would not be able to function as easily as we do. I actually found this an easy phalange to cast. Who is your thumb friend?

My biggest dilemma was actually between my index finger and middle finger. The middle finger is taller (obviously) and so perhaps the middle friend is ‘at the centre’ of my life? Or is he/she just really tall? Or is he/she what balances me, makes me look good (we would look strange with no middle finger) or stands up for me/tells me what is best? The index finger, on the other hand is shorter and is a lot closer to the thumb. The thumb and index work together to make my life wonderful, so perhaps these two friends are also friends with each other? The index finger goes everywhere with me and is often there when the middle finger is not. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?? Who are your index and middle friends?

And the ring finger! Just barely hanging on and not up to much at all EXCEPT when it really counts. Got a ring? Put it on the ring finger. The ring friend is THERE for me. It doesn’t matter if we don’t talk for a while, the ring friend is pretty damn reliable. I also think the ring finger would be some pretty interesting conversation. The kinda finger (friend) who would be up for a lot of wine and late night talks.  Who is your ring friend?

Little pinky is extremely enjoyable. It’s just that often he/she is not there at all. Sometimes when drinks are being had, little pinky is nowhere to be seen. But he/she is always there. The pinky friend is that friend who I sometimes forget about momentarily. Probably not living in the same city as me, but when I remember that this friend is there I feel wonderful. Because when we are reunited, it will fit so perfectly it will be just like we were never parted. Who is your pinky friend?

//

So folks, on that note – I promise to never write something as lame as this ever again. Unless I happen to have another prolific thought that Ivan fails to veto. Shame on you Ivan.

Oh and if you are so kind as to do the ‘two clicks’ for us to move up the ranks in ‘top baby blogs’ that would be awesome.

  • Carrie

    Pam, I LOVE it!!

    And now I shall not be able to concentrate all afternoon whilst I mull over casting the roles of my finger friends !

  • Red

    Do you think it’d be weird if, the next time I saw a really good friend, I went, “Hey, Pinky – *wink*”?

    …Nah.

    The only problem I have with this concept is the limit of 5. It inherently requires people to rank their friends, which doesn’t sit particularly well with me. For example, can you have two index friends? Should you be able to? How regularly can you change your fingers? Or is ‘not being able to’ the point?

    Phew. That should send you to sleep tonight.

  • Pamela

    Well Red… technically we DO have two hands. So I suppose you can have two of all of them really. I tend to take the second hand less seriously though – rather than assigning each friend to a finger, they are just in ‘the other hand’. It’s the first hand that matters and sure you can change them up, but I think the point is they don’t really need changing. If they were change-worthy friends then I don’t think they are ‘hand friends’ to begin with.

    We also have phalanges of the feet. Many friends who do not make ‘hand status’ can have just as good a time being ‘feet’ friends. If you want to assign each to a toe, that would be cool too.

  • Rodrigo

    ahahhaha is amazing how a bad sleeping schedule can get you high, juts kidding, but now Im wondering in wich hand I should put my brothers, in the right hand, the one that makes your life easy and the one with you do almost everything ( my case) or the left hand wich is closer to the heart.

  • http://www.takingoutthetash.wordpress.com Natasha Walton

    Haha I love it!! Am I a Pinky friend???? xxxx

  • Ivan

    Red, the whole theory of the finger is that you must rank your friends, thus making you think real hard on where do they sit and why. And also never tell any of them what their rank is because you don’t want to start a hand-fight!

    Rodrigo, I ranked my left hand because it’s the one that makes my life easier and is the most reliable given that I’m left-handed. I like the idea of the hand closer to the hand works for me :P

  • Jon

    Some might start to wonder, after reading this, if you have a little too much spare time in between nappy changes and sleep young Pam :) Always love reading your blurbs…very entertaining.

  • http://pablokraus.com Pablo

    Interesting post I must say… I wonder how many of my friends know that I use them to wipe me ass. Actually, most people wouldn’t want to know where my hand has been. However, I have come to the conclusion that if you are on my hand ranking, then you definitely know where my hand has been and you would find that a privilege.

    Thanks Pam! Ivan, I hope you know where you sit… right between my left and right cheeks as I wipe ;)

  • Michelle

    Hmmm…interesting. Dan has always had 2 lists of friends (These are actually real lists) of his “A list friends” and “B list friends”. I have always found this disturbing. I have friends (a very close circle of people allowed to share my life and whose circle I often enter) and “aquaintances”.

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