i slept in til 8 and then ivan came in to whisper ‘we’re going to the market’ and i decided i didn’t want to sleep in on mother’s day.

i ate some steel cut oats with cinnamon and berries and we walked/bussed into ballard. we walked through the market, we bought fresh veggies, we drank coffee and shared some treats, i practiced yoga, ivan cleaned our yard, we played and chased and read books.

ivan took some pictures and i cringe when i see myself in them because of my tired eyes and my crazy hair, but i wanna post them anyway because when i look back in years to come, i’m sure those things won’t matter to me at all. this is my second official year of being a mama and this is how i look right now.

mother’s day is awesome, mainly because i really don’t have to change a single diaper, but also because it makes me think about how much i love being a mum. i love thinking about how much my mum must love me – something i always knew (obviously), but after having mika i realised it in an entirely new way. i feel so entirely grateful in such an indescribable way, for what i must have put my mother through as a crying baby, a fussy toddler and (what i’ll be somewhat soon able to fully appreciate) as an awful awful teenager.

i feel like i couldn’t be the mama i am if it wasn’t for the support of some amazing people: my parents and my best friends, but mainly of course because of ivan, who makes it possible for me to continue to run and practice yoga and cook meals and have time for myself. ivan who, when both of us are beyond exhausted, will be the one to get up to see mika at 3 in the morning. ivan, who will rush home after work exhausted, and play chase with mika for an hour then bath her and put her to bed and then stay up til after midnight finishing his work. ivan, who cleans the bathroom, takes the rubbish out, makes our bed and cooks us oats every morning. ivan, who cooks me an extremely healthy and delicious vegan brunch on mother’s day because he knows exactly what i like to eat and how i like to eat it. i know i’m only the mother i am, because he is the partner he is.

and depsite everything, you know, everything. like all those things that make being a mama so hard, i still feel like the luckiest human alive to be the mama to this girl.

happy mother’s day to my mama, and to all the beautiful mama’s out there and to all the amazing people who help mamas be the best mamas they can be.

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I’ve only ever celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving and so I had no idea what a big deal Thanksgiving was in America. It’s a long weekend here and people are saying ‘happy holidays!’ in the street as though it’s Christmas time already. And I mean it practically is Christmas time. The lights are up, the advertisements are many and I’m pretty sure ‘happy holidays’ is what we’ll be hearing from now until January 2nd. I’m not complaining at all. The sooner I can crank the Christmas tunes and get some pine and fir up in this house, the better.

In the spirit of the happy holidays I am so thankful for my family. For the little miss M who leaps into my arms, holds my head with both her hands and kisses me square on the mouth. For the handsome man in my life who always gives me time to run and yoga and who never fails to keep our house bright with fresh flowers and make me tea.

I’m thankful for the beautiful friends and family who are flying to the other side of the world to celebrate our wedding with us in just over ONE MONTH.

I’m thankful for our warmth and our food, the rain and the sunshine, books and good coffee and making new friends who make new places feel like home.

I think EVERYONE should celebrate thanksgiving in some form. We don’t eat turkey but we are cooking a feast tomorrow (menu below) and thinking of our loved ones who are in far away places. Also check this out, just cause I think it’s a pretty great idea. Happy holidays y’all.

Roasted green beans

Butternut squash, brussels sprout and bread stuffing with apples

Black-eyed peas in garlic-ginger-braised mustard greens (The Inspired Vegan, Bryant Terry)

Molasses, miso & maple candied sweet potatoes (The Inspired Vegan, Bryant Terry)

Apple and gingerbread cake

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The weekend was slow. We’re still suffering from the cost of furnishing our house and paying rent in the same month…but we take great delight in budgeting and finding ways to have fun that doesn’t cost a thing, so it was a pretty nice weekend.

We decided to record a wee video about our day at the market and then on Sunday night we managed to make a little story out of the footage and edit it into a save the date video for our wedding. I love it – it’s slow, relaxing and full of Mika – just like our Sundays usually are.

We can’t wait to have our friends and family join us in Seattle for a big week of partying and celebrating.

Ivan + Pamela :: Save the Date from Ivan Cruz on Vimeo.

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Yesterday I mentioned in passing to Ivan something about ‘my seat at the table’ from when I was growing up. He stopped me to clarify what I meant: You mean you had your own seat? And I said, well, yeah – we each had our own place. My Mum and Dad faced each other from two ends and my brother and I faced each other from the other two. You didn’t have this? Nope.

We always sat in the same spots. It had never occurred to me before that maybe other people didn’t do this. I am always wary of sitting in ‘someone’s seat’ at the dinner table when I’m dining at someone else’s house, so I usually wait for everyone to sit or I take instructions on where I should go.

Is this weird? Did your family have their own places at the table when you were growing up? I’m very curious. Please elaborate in the comments if you like!

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We finally managed to get everyone together for some family photos. The only one missing is Ivan’s dad! We spent the early evening playing in the backyard of Ivan’s brother’s home and then we finished the night with some sushi and gorgeous entertainment in the form of Mika and her little cousin Maria-Renee. It kinda sucks knowing we’ll be so far away from this soon!

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